For the past few months, as the little man has gradually increased his vocabulary, I have waited in anticipation for the day he finally calls me mummy. First came "mamama", then rather strangely he started calling me "miss". I don't know why this came about but the closest explanation I can make is that he heard others calling me Alice, took the last part, added the m for mummy and came up with his own, rather formal version.
But yesterday, he mastered mummy, and having got that sorted, he said it over and over. At one point, he looked over at me, pointed his finger and said "it's a mummy" and he was quite correct. And I have to say, I couldn't get enough. Having this tiny chap calling me his mummy filled me with a warm glow. I am somebody's mummy and that's a rather important job isn't it? Hope I'm up to it.
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
How to survive those toddler years
Being a parent can be a scary business. You end up constantly questioning yourself. Is he getting enough stimulation? Should he really be enjoying that cake so much? Are two hours of solid Postman Pat-watching too much?
And when your little one becomes a toddler, the bar is set at a whole new level. Which is why I wanted to introduce you to Joanne Mallon. A fellow freelance parenting journalist with two children of her own, she has put together an invaluable book every parent should have within easy reach.
Toddlers - an instruction manual is a guide to surviving the years one to four but what makes it brilliant is that it is written for parents by parents. Isn’t the best advice always given by other mums over a rushed cup of coffee at the local playgroup? Joanne has gathered together all those valuable tips and put them together in a book just for you. And there’s no preaching or judgemental comments – just friendly advice from someone who has been there, done it, seen it all.
Here is an extract so you can see for yourself:
My child the mirror
Children of all ages, but particularly toddlers, are like a barometer of the world around them. So if your child’s behaviour changes, and especially if it becomes more challenging, the first place to look is at the rest of their world and ask yourself what this is a reflection of.
Reasons for changes in toddler behaviour could include:
· The arrival of a new sibling
· Parental arguments or separation
· Tiredness – especially if sleep has been disrupted or you’re in the process of dropping the daytime nap
· Pressure to potty train before they’re ready
· Moving house
· Changes of key worker in nursery
· Any kind of stress at home
This is particularly true when there is stuff going on in a parent’s life that takes their attention away from their child – you’ve gone back to work, so he’s suddenly started waking up at 3am. It’s all about gaining your attention.
And whilst it can be distressing to see how your child picks up on the undercurrents of life that you thought you’d protected them from, at least it makes it easy to see what’s going on, and to change whatever needs to change to stop it from continuing.
Please don’t feel guilty or start blaming yourself if your child starts acting up as a result of stress at home – these things happen in all families, and once you start feeling guilty as a parent you might never stop. It takes up way too much energy and probably gives you wrinkles as well.
In fact, I think it’s one of the loveliest things about toddlers that their external world is also embedded within them, etched right through like writing on a stick of rock - a toddler will never pretend to be happy when they’re not. Adults could learn a lot from that.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Toddlers-Instruction-Surviving-Written-Parents/dp/0956702449/
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Toddlers-Instruction-Surviving-Written-ebook/dp/B006MLH0LI/
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Take my money Mothercare - please
I love Mothercare. I always get a little thrill of excitement walking through the automatic doors and finding myself surrounded by aisle upon aisle of adorable baby things. When I was pregnant, a might have even blubbed quietly but that was probably the hormones. So rumours that it is struggling sadden me. Unfortunately, recent experience has highlighted it could perhaps be doing more to dig itself out of any financial hole it is in at the moment.
As you might have read from previous posts, I have been trying to decide what to put the little man in when he goes to sleep. After much debate, I have opted for a walk-in sleeper which is basically a padded sleep suit that you pop on over a cotton sleep suit. Mothercare has some fantastic ones and I bought a lovely version with a little digger on the front. At £16, I was reluctant to stock up on bigger sizes until I had tried it out first and bought just the one for 12 to 18 months. It worked a treat so I returned to invest for the winter but the next size up is out of stock and the friendly girl behind the counter couldn't order any more. Why not? If you are struggling to make sales Mothercare, why is it you can't get enough of the popular stuff that sells out and, what's more, why can't you see that mums and dads will want warm things for their little ones when it is cold outside and not the t-shirts and thin cardies you are filling up with ready for spring in several months time? I wanted to hand over my money and you wouldn't take it.
Admittedly, I should have been more on the ball and got the winter things in the summer, and the summer things in the winter but when your head is full of 100-things-I-must-do-before-he-goes-to-bed, planning ahead can be difficult.The same goes for fleeces - I discovered the last remnants tucked away in a corner and, having learnt my lesson, took the lot.
Determined to spend my money with Mothercare, I called up a couple of weeks later for an update on the walk-in sleeper situation. Still no joy, so I wondered if any other stores might have the size I was after and, if so whether it could be shipped over to my local branch. Instead of offering to ring around and find out, the perfectly nice assistant said I could try and happily ended the call without making a firm sale. So I did her job and rang around. One store refused to deliver in between stores, besides which they couldn't take payment over the phone (again, why?) and they were out of stock anyway. Finally, I found a store that had one left and the lovely lady agreed to have it delivered to my nearby Mothercare. It would take a couple of weeks but I had won.
So they managed to get my money in the end but I needed a long lie down and strong cup of tea to recover from my uphill battle - who would have thought spending money was so exhausting?
As you might have read from previous posts, I have been trying to decide what to put the little man in when he goes to sleep. After much debate, I have opted for a walk-in sleeper which is basically a padded sleep suit that you pop on over a cotton sleep suit. Mothercare has some fantastic ones and I bought a lovely version with a little digger on the front. At £16, I was reluctant to stock up on bigger sizes until I had tried it out first and bought just the one for 12 to 18 months. It worked a treat so I returned to invest for the winter but the next size up is out of stock and the friendly girl behind the counter couldn't order any more. Why not? If you are struggling to make sales Mothercare, why is it you can't get enough of the popular stuff that sells out and, what's more, why can't you see that mums and dads will want warm things for their little ones when it is cold outside and not the t-shirts and thin cardies you are filling up with ready for spring in several months time? I wanted to hand over my money and you wouldn't take it.
Admittedly, I should have been more on the ball and got the winter things in the summer, and the summer things in the winter but when your head is full of 100-things-I-must-do-before-he-goes-to-bed, planning ahead can be difficult.The same goes for fleeces - I discovered the last remnants tucked away in a corner and, having learnt my lesson, took the lot.
Determined to spend my money with Mothercare, I called up a couple of weeks later for an update on the walk-in sleeper situation. Still no joy, so I wondered if any other stores might have the size I was after and, if so whether it could be shipped over to my local branch. Instead of offering to ring around and find out, the perfectly nice assistant said I could try and happily ended the call without making a firm sale. So I did her job and rang around. One store refused to deliver in between stores, besides which they couldn't take payment over the phone (again, why?) and they were out of stock anyway. Finally, I found a store that had one left and the lovely lady agreed to have it delivered to my nearby Mothercare. It would take a couple of weeks but I had won.
So they managed to get my money in the end but I needed a long lie down and strong cup of tea to recover from my uphill battle - who would have thought spending money was so exhausting?
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Flares weren't the only good thing to come out of the 70s
Toys - they don't make 'em like they used to. Well actually I think what's on offer for kiddywinks today, in all their colourful, musical and educational guises, is rather brilliant, but there is something special about resurrecting the toys of your past and passing them on to your children.
My parents, bless them, have been neatly storing all remnants of our childhood in the loft for three decades, so they were poised to entertain the moment grandchildren arrived on the scene. And so, week by week when we visit, the little man is being introduced the very best the late 70s and early 80s had to offer.
To begin with, the classic Fisher Price telephone made an appearance. Okay, the receiver is long gone and the decoration faded but it still rolls its eyes when it is pulled along and the bell gives a cheerful jangle as you turn the dial. The little man loves it.
Then chugging into 2012 came our plastic train set, together with the battery-powered Thomas the Tank Engine and that other red one nobody knows the name of (the latter was mine - my brother always got the best toys). Never mind the years that have passed, they still go like the clappers.
My faithful Fisher Price Little Snoopy with the wonky wheels is now making his wobbly way around the living room again, trailing behind my son as he used to behind me.
And at bathtime, all my old favourites can be seen bobbing about, from the life-like plastic crab which always gave me the heebie-geebies (still does if I'm honest) to my little wind-up duck that lies on its side and goes round and round in circles as if in its final death throes. It did that thirty years ago so I wasn't fooled for a minute.
Watching my son getting pleasure from these things, as I did so long ago, couldn't be a clearer indication that for me the circle of life is ticking along quite nicely and, softy that I am, this gives me a lovely warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Now step aside son, it's mummy's turn.
Here is the little man with my old toys, and a newer shinier one in the background.
My parents, bless them, have been neatly storing all remnants of our childhood in the loft for three decades, so they were poised to entertain the moment grandchildren arrived on the scene. And so, week by week when we visit, the little man is being introduced the very best the late 70s and early 80s had to offer.
To begin with, the classic Fisher Price telephone made an appearance. Okay, the receiver is long gone and the decoration faded but it still rolls its eyes when it is pulled along and the bell gives a cheerful jangle as you turn the dial. The little man loves it.
Then chugging into 2012 came our plastic train set, together with the battery-powered Thomas the Tank Engine and that other red one nobody knows the name of (the latter was mine - my brother always got the best toys). Never mind the years that have passed, they still go like the clappers.
My faithful Fisher Price Little Snoopy with the wonky wheels is now making his wobbly way around the living room again, trailing behind my son as he used to behind me.
And at bathtime, all my old favourites can be seen bobbing about, from the life-like plastic crab which always gave me the heebie-geebies (still does if I'm honest) to my little wind-up duck that lies on its side and goes round and round in circles as if in its final death throes. It did that thirty years ago so I wasn't fooled for a minute.
Watching my son getting pleasure from these things, as I did so long ago, couldn't be a clearer indication that for me the circle of life is ticking along quite nicely and, softy that I am, this gives me a lovely warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Now step aside son, it's mummy's turn.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Fancy a ciddle?
I have just invented a new word. Ciddle. A pleasing combination of a kiss and a cuddle. Lovely isn't it?
Okay - it was a bit of a flukey discovery coming about from a quick fire round of emails with a PR when I accidentally hit 'i' instead of 'u' and said I was looking forward to the little man having a ciddle with one of their latest fluffy products (more on that when it arrives).
But I rather like it now that it is out there and intend to adopt ciddle in our everyday family vocabulary - "Come over here son and have a ciddle with your old ma" - that sort of thing.
And the PR, tickled by my mistake, is adopting it too apparently. Perhaps I have inadvertently started a trend - come on everyone, get ciddling.
Okay - it was a bit of a flukey discovery coming about from a quick fire round of emails with a PR when I accidentally hit 'i' instead of 'u' and said I was looking forward to the little man having a ciddle with one of their latest fluffy products (more on that when it arrives).
But I rather like it now that it is out there and intend to adopt ciddle in our everyday family vocabulary - "Come over here son and have a ciddle with your old ma" - that sort of thing.
And the PR, tickled by my mistake, is adopting it too apparently. Perhaps I have inadvertently started a trend - come on everyone, get ciddling.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Thank you Supernanny
For Christmas, I was given Jo Frost's book Confident Toddler Care. I have always liked Supernanny; she seems level-headed and sensible so I was quick to dive in and see what nuggets of wisdom she could impart.
First stop - potty training. She claims this can be done in a week if you clear your diary and it all seemed to make sense but the little man is not quite ready to take that giant step (according to Jo's checklist) so more on that when the time comes.
More relevant for now is the chapter on play and stimulation. I am always accutely aware of my responsibility in this area. He seems to learn new things every day and the more I can help with that the better. It is always reassuring being told you are doing something right and a lot of her tips I am doing naturally with him; narrating what we are doing during the day, giving him simple instructions to follow such as "Can you bring The Wheels on the Bus book over to mummy please?" and to my astonishment he does, singing nursery rhymes and playing musical instruments. Even taking him to the supermarket gets you a brownie point although by the time we get to the checkout both myself and the little man would beg to differ.
Here are some particularly good tips I have picked out:
- Create an obstacle course using furniture and cushions and give instructions, such as "Go under the table, over the sofa and on top of the cushions". This really helps with body awareness in space. Try standing him on a chair, then in front of it and behind it etc.
- Refresh your toy collection. Sounds obvious but I can see how easily he could outgrow his toys without me even noticing. If he looks bored or isn't interested in playing with them, it might be time for a change.
- Pretend play helps with reading skills, according to Jo. When a child pretends a blanket is a cape, he is letting one thing stand for another which helps him to understand that words stand for thoughts and ideas. She suggests encouraging this imagination by getting play versions of everyday objects, such as plastic food or a cash register. Make finger puppets, invest in some blocks or Lego and make a house or be on the lookout for items to expand your dressing-up box. The last one is one of my new year's resolution - I have always wanted to be a household that can produce a fancy dress outfit in a blink of an eye. That kind of household is a fun one.
- Last but not least, Jo gently reminds us to change our mindset (if needed). An activity isn't about getting something done but being interactive, using your imagination and having fun. Cheesy but so true.
First stop - potty training. She claims this can be done in a week if you clear your diary and it all seemed to make sense but the little man is not quite ready to take that giant step (according to Jo's checklist) so more on that when the time comes.
More relevant for now is the chapter on play and stimulation. I am always accutely aware of my responsibility in this area. He seems to learn new things every day and the more I can help with that the better. It is always reassuring being told you are doing something right and a lot of her tips I am doing naturally with him; narrating what we are doing during the day, giving him simple instructions to follow such as "Can you bring The Wheels on the Bus book over to mummy please?" and to my astonishment he does, singing nursery rhymes and playing musical instruments. Even taking him to the supermarket gets you a brownie point although by the time we get to the checkout both myself and the little man would beg to differ.
Here are some particularly good tips I have picked out:
- Create an obstacle course using furniture and cushions and give instructions, such as "Go under the table, over the sofa and on top of the cushions". This really helps with body awareness in space. Try standing him on a chair, then in front of it and behind it etc.
- Refresh your toy collection. Sounds obvious but I can see how easily he could outgrow his toys without me even noticing. If he looks bored or isn't interested in playing with them, it might be time for a change.
- Pretend play helps with reading skills, according to Jo. When a child pretends a blanket is a cape, he is letting one thing stand for another which helps him to understand that words stand for thoughts and ideas. She suggests encouraging this imagination by getting play versions of everyday objects, such as plastic food or a cash register. Make finger puppets, invest in some blocks or Lego and make a house or be on the lookout for items to expand your dressing-up box. The last one is one of my new year's resolution - I have always wanted to be a household that can produce a fancy dress outfit in a blink of an eye. That kind of household is a fun one.
- Last but not least, Jo gently reminds us to change our mindset (if needed). An activity isn't about getting something done but being interactive, using your imagination and having fun. Cheesy but so true.
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
My Spanish love story
Prospero Año Nuevo! Oh yes, I have gone all continental since coming back from a week spent in Spain, and for those of you not fluent in the lingo, I am wishing you a prosperous new year. It is about the only thing I do know how to say apart from "two beers please" and "where are the toilets?" so I say it loudly and with pride.
Apart from a firm grasp of Spanish, I have returned from our holiday with a profound love of the Spanish. More specifically, I have a profound love for their love of children.
Yes, they don't have fresh milk but the little man happily guzzled back the UHT (brave chap), and all their playgrounds seem to cater for three years plus and ignore anyone with short legs and boundless energy so we did spend a good deal of time running after him around their beautiful plazas. Mind you, witnessing one Spanish mother supervising her daughter as she pulled down her pants and widdled within splashing distance of the older kids' climbing frame did make me think we were best to keep our distance anyway. Could you see that happening in the UK?
But they really do love kiddies. We were continuously watched by cooing elderly Spanish men who broke off from their slow shuffle round the square to chuckle at the little man as he raced past. When our group headed out for an evening meal, something we haven't dared try over here, we were welcomed with open arms. Tapas was ordered for the adults and a Spanish omlette for the toddler. Without asking, his eggy offering arrived first, meaning we were able to feed him and were then free to eat ours in peace while he played with his books, happy and fed. Genius. Now, could you see that happening in the UK?
Apart from a firm grasp of Spanish, I have returned from our holiday with a profound love of the Spanish. More specifically, I have a profound love for their love of children.
Yes, they don't have fresh milk but the little man happily guzzled back the UHT (brave chap), and all their playgrounds seem to cater for three years plus and ignore anyone with short legs and boundless energy so we did spend a good deal of time running after him around their beautiful plazas. Mind you, witnessing one Spanish mother supervising her daughter as she pulled down her pants and widdled within splashing distance of the older kids' climbing frame did make me think we were best to keep our distance anyway. Could you see that happening in the UK?
But they really do love kiddies. We were continuously watched by cooing elderly Spanish men who broke off from their slow shuffle round the square to chuckle at the little man as he raced past. When our group headed out for an evening meal, something we haven't dared try over here, we were welcomed with open arms. Tapas was ordered for the adults and a Spanish omlette for the toddler. Without asking, his eggy offering arrived first, meaning we were able to feed him and were then free to eat ours in peace while he played with his books, happy and fed. Genius. Now, could you see that happening in the UK?
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