Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Watch out - health visitor about

I am not naive. I know that going from one to two children is going to be hard. Hard for the little man, used to my full attention, hard for me splitting myself in two and hard for daddy trying to help but with piles of work to do at the same time. But what I don't want is it to be spelt out to me in hard and scary terms by a health visitor. In my own home.
When you are due to have a baby, a health visitor will pay a house call. This is to give you the little red medical book and to give you the chance to chat through any issues or concerns you might have. I imagine it is also so they can see what sort of a household the new little person will be coming into. I didn't give this visit a second thought - just put it in my diary, made space for it during the busy week which meant delaying our usual visit to the swimming pool and when she came (twenty minutes late) I sat down ready to talk. What I wasn't expecting was a 45 minute lecture on how I MUST prepare the little man for the "horrendous shock" he will have, how difficult life is going to get for me, how I NEED to get him potty trained right now (with four weeks until my due date) and how he is far too old to be having a bottle of milk (okay maybe he is but do I need to worry about that NOW?).
Ever since I have been shrouded in the blues that I just can't shrug off. Instead of looking forward to the arrival of our second child, I am now dreading it. If the little man, who is extremely lively, starts playing up, I am plunged into feelings of inadequacy. How will I cope with two if I can't even control one?
I also feel angry. I didn't ask for her opinions. It certainly wasn't helpful having them thrown at me. In my own home. The withering look of disapproval we got as the little man guzzled away on his full fat milk is one I am finding hard to forget. And worse still, will I have to face her again when the baby has arrived and I am at my most vulnerable?
Friends have told me to call up and request she not visit me again. Others apparently have done the same. In fact, do I really need to see a health visitor at all? Last time around, I tied myself in knots each time they put my tiny boy on the scales and warned me that, while he was putting on the minimum amount of weight required, it could, should, be better. He was fine. All that worry for nothing. And now I might have to go through it all again. In fact, it has already started.
No, not this time. I know better. Pass me the phone.

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Warning - baby on the way

Wow this pregnancy is going fast. I now have six weeks to go. Not long but not to worry, I am attempting to be organised. Tiny newborn outfits have been retrieved, washed, gazed at and put away. I have a draw full of tiddly-sized nappies and cotton wool balls (will I really do that whole cotton wool and warm water thing that I did last time around, or will the wipes win out?) The baby car seat is washed and installed - early I know but I'm not going to be caught out and besides, it was in the loft and I don't want to be scrabbling around with two days to go before my due date looking for lost headrests and straps etc. I am yet to cook lots of meals and freeze them but that is on my to-do list for next week, possibly. Unfortunate accessories to this birthing/babies business - breast pumps, breast pads, other sorts of pads (sorry men if you are reading this and getting red faced, it is not pleasant I agree), bras that unhinge for easy access, tops that do likewise are being found or bought in readiness.The moses basket is in position, with new bedding ordered online, delivered and stored away in readiness. The only thing I need to do now is prepare my son for the coming arrival.
Easier said than done. I have talked about it with him but any attempts at discussion are quickly ignored in favour of the more exciting activity he is engrossed in. We have got out all his baby things and explained how he once bounced in that seat or laid on that rug, and that his little brother or sister will soon be doing the same, but he remained unbothered - although he did enjoy using the moses basket as a boat.
We plan to show him his baby photos and talk about the new arrival in that context, and I am going to do a search on Amazon as I know there are plenty of books out there that can help introduce what it is that is about to hit him.
My guess is he won't be too phased by the event. He never takes any notice when I hold other babies and he is not the jealous type (if a toy is taken from him, he mostly just goes off and gets another) but I do wonder how he will be when my attention, which has been his completely for almost three years, is shared with another. At least we have the summer for the four of us to get used to one another and I will do my absolute best to make sure he never feels left out. And I will remind myself that, in the end, even if he isn't too keen on having a sibling about at first, he or she will be a wonderful playmate and companion for him for the rest of his life.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

You can go on holiday with a toddler

Ever since the little man arrived, our criteria for having a nice break away have seriously changed. Flying, for a start, is out. I remember being young, free and single and how my heart would drop as I settled into my seat ready for a seven-hour flight only for a toddler to clamber in next to me. I'm not saying you can't travel with little ones but he is particularly active and I would be stressed. Besides, you can pack so much more into a car and there was a lot I wanted to pack.
Other criteria include:
1, If we're going by car, it can’t be too far away – four hours max if possible. Driving is boring, for everyone.
2, There must be fun things for toddlers to do – the beach, swings, slides etc. Even a pool is out at this stage really - we didn’t want to spend the day taking it in turns chasing our two and a half year old around the pool trying to keep him safe.
3, Self catering accommodation is a must so we can cook what we want when we want with perhaps an occasional visit to a restaurant if we are feeling up to it. He must have his own room too and a living space away from said room so we can relax with a glass of wine (or fruit juice in my pregnant state) after a long day of fun without disturbing him.
In short, what we didn’t want was a holiday that turned out to be more stressful than simply staying at home. So I was delighted when we found Trevorrick farm - a collection of pretty cottages in Cornwall offering an indoor pool, children’s play area, animals to pet and beaches nearby. The owners Melanie and Mike are themselves parents and quite clearly know exactly what every holidaying family requires to make life easy and, therefore, fun. Stairgates, night lights, baby monitors, high chairs, booster seats, socket guards, a pram if needed are all provided for guests. They even promise to fill your cottage with age appropriate toys. We booked on the spot.
So we have now returned from our break away and I am happy to report it was everything we had hoped for. The cottage was indeed pretty and filled with trains, train tracks, building blocks, puzzles and books waiting for him to play with. Every morning, while I got ready, the little man and his daddy would wander about the farm, visiting the turkeys, two Shetland ponies, pigs and chickens. It was idyllic. 
Everyday, we headed out for a day of family fun and there was so much for toddlers to do, not including all the beaches nearby (it was just a bit too cold to venture to the seaside unfortunately). Our favourite was Crealy Great Adventure Park where you pay once and then get a free seven-day pass. We went three times. Bargain. It was there we discovered the little man's love of rollercoasters - at last his daddy has someone to go on with him. We rode the steam trains at Lappa Valley and stared at the animals inside Newquay zoo. We even found time to read our books while our son, exhausted by all the fun he was having, reverted back to his afternoon naps again. One day I ate such an enormous Cornish cream tea I was actually sick but I don't regret it - that Cornish cream is to die for and at one point I did think I was dying. Sometimes in the evenings, we fell asleep not long after putting the little man to bed. It was our first and last holiday just the three of us and it was just what we wanted - fun, stressfree and exhausting with a pile of Cornish cream on the side for good measure.